Well, I'm no therapist, but personally to me? You have a pretty decent moral compass Steven. It's...what makes it hard not to refer to you as a 'good person'. You don't WANT people you're close to to suffer. And you don't tend to intentionally hurt them for that matter.
That's kind of all it takes to have decent morals. Obviously people in general have plenty of potential notches above- would you intentionally hurt an animal if it wasn't causing you harm, etc etc...but the point is that like I said, it's about what you try. It's about what you want, and try, and would regret failing.
And man, you have a lot of regret.
When it comes to sorting out the feelings that are yours though...hmmm. I suppose you could try something like journaling? Nothing too wordy, just...getting stuff down and recorded somewhere, for your eyes or ears only. As you can guess from 'ears', even talking to a recorder can work~! Sometimes you just have to say stuff out loud for it to click.
Anyway. Ultimately...you're probably not ever going to know exactly what the details of anything like that are until the chance comes to...well. Ask. Assuming you get an answer. It comes down to the comfort levels after all, and if it WAS as bad as anything you've been through- not that I know all the details myself but I've got enough puzzle pieces anyway- that's understandably going to uh...not necessarily be coming out easy.
[And if it IS her...well. Maybe she'll tell him a little bit after a while, but first she needs to determine how far into a brain blender Dirk's going to drag himself into with that. He took things a bit poorly, and with her luck, Steven watched or read or heard her canon, however the media format went.]
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Date: 2021-02-25 02:50 pm (UTC)Well, I'm no therapist, but personally to me? You have a pretty decent moral compass Steven. It's...what makes it hard not to refer to you as a 'good person'. You don't WANT people you're close to to suffer. And you don't tend to intentionally hurt them for that matter.
That's kind of all it takes to have decent morals. Obviously people in general have plenty of potential notches above- would you intentionally hurt an animal if it wasn't causing you harm, etc etc...but the point is that like I said, it's about what you try. It's about what you want, and try, and would regret failing.
And man, you have a lot of regret.
When it comes to sorting out the feelings that are yours though...hmmm. I suppose you could try something like journaling? Nothing too wordy, just...getting stuff down and recorded somewhere, for your eyes or ears only. As you can guess from 'ears', even talking to a recorder can work~! Sometimes you just have to say stuff out loud for it to click.
Anyway. Ultimately...you're probably not ever going to know exactly what the details of anything like that are until the chance comes to...well. Ask. Assuming you get an answer. It comes down to the comfort levels after all, and if it WAS as bad as anything you've been through- not that I know all the details myself but I've got enough puzzle pieces anyway- that's understandably going to uh...not necessarily be coming out easy.
[And if it IS her...well. Maybe she'll tell him a little bit after a while, but first she needs to determine how far into a brain blender Dirk's going to drag himself into with that. He took things a bit poorly, and with her luck, Steven watched or read or heard her canon, however the media format went.]